Sunday, February 23, 2014
How do I make all the pieces fit?
My life (like everyone else's) is made up of many pieces - family, work, health, God, children, the past, the future... How on earth do I make all the pieces fit?
I don't know.
I am not holy, like God is holy, despite the fact that the gospel reading for today says I should be.
There are so many pieces- some of them I know are there, but I can't even see them, let alone make them fit.
I know I am tired... so tired! Raising children, vegetables, cleaning other people's houses on my 'day off', trying to find space for my husband, for me, for God... trying to deal with the old griefs, that seem to be somewhat like God's mercies, in that in this season of my life, they are new every morning!
What am I going to do with the rest of my life, now that my 'baby' is a year away from going to school?
And what to do with the fact that most of us are hurting for one reason or another - everyone has their own pain, and some days even that knowledge is almost overwhelming, and I wonder how God could have created the world in the first place, knowing how much anguish and suffering would occur...
I don't know how to make it all fit. Life hurts. God is good. How do these two things make sense together?
At this point, the only answer I have, is to give up the questions. The only way I can find peace for my mind and heart is to stop trying to make it all make sense, and turn my eyes on Him - not for the answers He can give me, but to find rest for my soul.
Like a child, hiding in his mother's lap when it all becomes too much, too overwhelming.
The only way I know to make all the pieces fit is to stop trying to make them fit, and hand them all to God. To stop trying to see the 'bigger picture' and make it all make sense, and instead focus on Him and His love for me.
He loves me! And I can trust Him to make it all fit.
Linking up with Diana Trautwein today :)